


a tiring het tm absolute snorefest where nothing happens with weird characterization

by chivalrousAmour



Series: kuzumiki fics i guess [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: 'here lies a petty piece of shit', AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, F/M, Talentswap, breeder peko, just write that down on my gravestone, nurse fuyuhiko, small evil monaka, swordsman gundham, the work is named this because im a petty piece of shit, yakuza mikan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 13:26:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8287373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chivalrousAmour/pseuds/chivalrousAmour
Summary: Mikan's heartbeat thumps away in her ears when Fuyuhiko smiles up at her. It's either infatuation or arrhythmia that makes her falter at the sight.She hopes it's arrhythmia.(In which Mikan makes some friends, Fuyuhiko has a horrible crush, Gundham and Peko work together and compete at the same time, Hiyoko throws toothpicks at everyone, and Monaka terrifies people.)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mikii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikii/gifts).



> this is based off of http://tsumikitxt.tumblr.com/post/148978861650/tsumikitxt-ive-found-my-new-favourite-talent  
> i didn't expect it to get so out of hand.

"God _dammit_ , Tsumiki, what the hell were you fucking thinking?" Kuzuryuu scowls as he wraps up her calve, keeping his eyes focused on his work. It takes a lot of effort to bite back the insult on her tongue, to laugh and try to act casual, but Mikan _has_ to. She couldn't scare a potential friend away!

"Ahaha... I'm just really clumsy, so don't mind me, Kuzuryuu-san," She giggles like an airhead, and Kuzuryuu fixes her with a capital-L Look that makes her freeze.

"Drop the fucking act, Tsumiki. You're obviously not the SHSL Actress."

"Excuse me?! I'm trying my-" She cuts herself off. Calm down, calm down, _laugh_ , goddammit! "I mean, it would just be _weird_ if I had two talents, right?"

Kuzuryuu is just unimpressed as he looks up at her, there's just no other way to say it. "Seriously, you can pull that bullshit with anyone else, but not me."

"W-what do you-"

"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?" He asks, breaking eye contact to reach for the scissors. Experienced hands tie a knot over her bleeding wound as he goes on. "It's obvious to anyone with a brain that you're acting. And doing an awful job of it."

"So what?!" Mikan hisses before she can stop herself. How _dare_ he speak to her like that?! She was doing her fucking best! It wasn't like she _wanted_ to scare someone off or kill someone or anything! She was _trying_ to be a normal high school student, and annoying asses like him weren't helping her goddamn _case_ -

Mikan belatedly realizes that she had been ranting, her legs lashing out wildly to punctuate her words. Which... was a problem, even without considering the fact that Kuzuryuu was in close proximity with her feet.

"This is exactly why you need to knock it off already," Kuzuryuu replies casually, even though he almost got kicked in the face. "You might actually kill someone with your outbursts if you keep this up."

Mikan's torn between telling him to shut the fuck up and apologizing for losing her temper. She settles on glaring at him as he checks to see if he needs to redo her bandaging.

 _(She's sitting on the edge of the infirmary's cot, Kuzuryuu kneeling down and propping her foot up on his knee. For some reason, it reminds her of Cinderella, only Cinderella had a fairy godmother instead of a hitman and her prince wasn't a complete_ ass _-_ )

( _Wait, did she just think of Kuzuryuu as a prince?_ )

* * *

They walk to class together the next morning, though Kuzuryuu insists that it's only to check on a patient. Mikan isn't sure whether to grumble about having to put up with him or if she should be glad that she's interacting with one of her classmates. ( _Excluding the swordsman._ )

"Tsumiki, you remembered to take your medicine before bed, right?" Kuzuryuu asks, and even though he looks as irritable as always, a bit of concern leaks into his voice. It's only there for a second before his scowl deepens, his voice more annoyed than ever. "It would be a pain if your cut got infected."

"Yes, of course, Kuzuryuu-san," She spouts off the words with a polite grin, right before she got a flick to the forehead. She glares at him harshly. "What was that for?!"

"I told you to drop the fucking act when you're around me," Kuzuryuu says simply. Mikan wants to smack him with her bag as revenge, but that would be rude.

"But if I do that..." Mikan trails off, her face darkening as she remembers people trembling in her presence, whispering about how the Tsumiki heiress would slaughter them all in an instant if they displeased her, having no one but Gundham for company at lunchtime, making a girl cry just by telling her to shut up...

"There's no way I can do that," Mikan concludes, earning a glare from Kuzuryuu.

"Do whatever you want around the others, but it just pisses me off to see you trying that shit on me," Kuzuryuu sighs, grimacing as he shoves his hands in his pockets. "Seriously, how dumb do you think I am? Your ' _nice girl'_ act might work on everyone else, but not on me, so don't even try."

"What makes you so special, huh?!" Mikan snaps. It's too easy for his attitude to rile her up, to make her start hissing and screaming and kicking. Not even Saionji was that good at getting her mad. "I can't do that for anyone here! Even if it's you, you'll just end up running away-" She comes back to her senses, _hard_ , slapping a timid smile on her face so fast that she's sure her cheeks will be red later. "Er, I'm sorry Kuzuryuu-san, I shouldn't have lost my temper like that."

"Quit assuming that people will be afraid of you," Kuzuryuu retorts, holding the classroom door open for her.

"What a fucking gentleman..." She grumbles under her breath as she walks through the door. Mikan slams her bag down on her desk with way too much force, though no one except Gundham pays the action any mind.

She grumbles and glares and scowls her way through class, an aura of darkness swamping the area around her desk. Gundham grabs her chocolate at lunch to cheer her up, but sugar only reminds her of a brat with a height complex.

Mikan ends up throwing the chocolate out the window, earning a lecture about wasting food from the class rep. It takes way too much effort to stop herself from throwing the class rep out the window too.

* * *

"If this is a kidnapping, you'll have to try harder," Mikan huffs as Kuzuryuu drags her down the hallway. His hand is clamped firmly around her wrist, but nowhere near tight enough to bruise. She wonders if it's his attempt at being considerate, before wondering why she hasn't twisted her way out of the hold yet.

"I'm bringing you to lunch, not planning an assassination attempt," Kuzuryuu shoots back, eliciting a snicker from Mikan. For a brief moment, there's a small smile on his face. Before Mikan can realize that it's not an unintentional muscle spasm, his expression jumps right back to annoyed scowl. "Peko wanted to spend time with you."

"Since when were you on a first-name basis with Pekoyama-san?" Mikan stares at him curiously, though Kuzuryuu keeps his eyes on the path ahead of them, so he doesn't see it.

"Don't tell anyone in the class, okay?" Kuzuryuu turns toward her, waiting for her to nod before continuing. "Those guys would probably start gossiping their heads off if they learned that me and Peko were childhood friends."

"Childhood...friends..." Mikan trails off, trying her best to understand. Pekoyama Peko, the otherworldly beauty. The silver-haired stoic who reserved her smiles for her pets. The polite, well-meaning, unapproachable breeder. That person, that calm, considerate, mature young woman was somehow friends with _Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko_.

" _How?_ " She asks, before realizing that her question might have been sort of impolite. Kuzuryuu had a weird effect on her like that. He managed to make her forget her mission to be nice and approachable with just a few rude words. "I can't imagine the two of you getting along at all."

"I was the only kid who knew how to use a first-aid kit in our elementary school, so she went to me whenever one of her pets got hurt."

"I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't something as cute as that," Mikan says honestly, earning a glare from Kuzuryuu.

"How the fucking hell is that cute?!"

"Isn't it obvious?!"

Behind a corner, Gundham slapped a hand against his forehead. His Young Mistress had absolutely no idea how to make friends.

But... as he watched the two bicker and squabble, Gundham couldn't help but feel that, maybe, even if Mikan had no idea what she was doing, she was doing pretty damn well at this friend thing.

* * *

Mikan freezes the moment she sees Pekoyama by the fountain. The breeder was holding the hand of a beautiful blonde, a bright grin on both of their faces.

Short-cropped golden hair that dipped into pure white in some spots, icy blue eyes, perfectly perky ears, an adorably round, black nose-

Mikan immediately rushes towards the pair, dropping to her knees into front of the adorable angel of cuteness.

"Oh my god! So _cute_!" Mikan gasps, before looking up at Pekoyama. "Can I pet her? _Please_?"

"Of course," Pekoyama nods, almost amused by Mikan's excitement.

"You're sooooooooo cute!" Mikan grins delightedly as she scratches at the dog's ears, before bringing her hand down to her back. "Who's the absolute cutest?! Who's the most adorable doggie in the entire goddamn universe?!"

"Oh, you brought Fluffy to school again," Kuzuryuu notes casually as he walked towards them.

"Her name is _Fluffy_?!" Mikan gapes at the nurse, though her hand didn't stop petting Fluffy at all.

"I admit, I wasn't the most creative with names in my youth," Pekoyama jokes. "She's been with me for eight years."

"What breed is she?" Mikan asks, right before Fluffy rolls onto her back, exposing her stomach for Mikan to pet. Mikan immediately jumps on the chance to give the angel more love and affection.

"She's a cross between a golden retriever and a husky."

"No way...! So that's why she's so pretty!" Mikan giggles to herself, before returning to cooing over Fluffy. "So _that_ 's why you're such a cutie! You're super, super cute! Yes you are, yes you are!"

She doesn't notice, but both Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama smile at her excitement.

"You're going to spoil her," Kuzuryuu slaps a scowl over his face as he sits on the edge of the fountain, pulling out his lunch.

"She deserves to be spoiled," Mikan retorts, turning towards Kuzuryuu. She doesn't miss the fact that his lunchbox contains nothing but bags of sweets. "You know, for a nurse, you have a really unhealthy taste in food."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"It's only because he-" Pekoyama is cut off by Fluffy leaping into action, growling. Fluffy stood in front of the trio protectively, barking at a figure-

"Curses! The Golden Beast of the Labyrinth has detected my foul presence!"

...there's only one person who can say something like that and be completely serious.

"Gundham. Were you following us?" Mikan asks flatly, resisting the urge to tack an ' _again'_ to the end.

"Since when were you two on a first-name basis?" Kuzuryuu asks, and Mikan wonders if he's echoing her previous words on purpose.

"I don't remember you two being this close..." Pekoyama trails off, beginning to put all the pieces together.

"I-it's because... it's because he's my secret boyfriend but m-my parents d-don't approve o-of our love so we're forced to hide it!"

"This is a boarding school," Pekoyama points out, immediately crushing Mikan's feeble attempt at an explanation. "Your parents aren't even around to disapprove of it."

"Uunngh!" Mikan flinches at the breeder's sound logic. There was no way she could recover from a blow like that!

"I can see why they would disapprove though..." Kuzuryuu mutters to himself, though Mikan overhears. And laughs. But only a little.

"How _dare_ you?!" Gundham is scandalized by the nurse's words, pointing a bandaged finger at the other boy. "I have mastered the Forbidden Arts, conquered a-"

"Nobody cares," Kuzuryuu shuts him down in less than five seconds, calmly chomping down on a marshmallow.

"Make sure Fluffy doesn't eat one," Pekoyama reminds the blond. Fuyuhiko lets out an annoyed affirmation, already accustomed to the breeder's warnings.

"Don't worry Gundham..." Mikan comforts the swordsman, patting his leg while petting Fluffy. "I care about about your forbidden arts."

"Those fools don't understand at all...! They are completely blind to the grand feats that I, Tanaka Gundham, Slayer of the Underground, King of-"

"Can you shut up and eat already?" Kuzuryuu stares at the pair, completely unimpressed as Pekoyama joins him on the fountain. Pekoyama digs a sandwich out of her bag for herself and a tin of dog food for Fluffy.

"You dragged me out here before I could grab my lunch," Mikan states.

"If you want, I could fetch it for you," Gundham offers immediately.

Pekoyama pulls back her sleeve, revealing a kitty-shaped watch.

"Lunch ends in ten minutes. I doubt that you'll be able to retrieve your food in that time," Pekoyama's face softens with pity as she frowns. "I would offer you some food, but all I have is this sandwich and some pet food..."

"Argh, I guess it can't be helped..." Kuzuryuu sighs, reaching for his lunchbox. He tosses a bag of gummy bears at Mikan, along with a bag of chips for Gundham.

"What's this...?" Mikan stares at the bag in her hands in disbelief, ignoring how Fluffy began whimpering and begging for the sweets.

"What the hell does it look like? It's _food_ , dumbass," Kuzuryuu retorts as Pekoyama feeds Fluffy a treat.

Mikan and Gundham exchange a stare, before thanking the blond.

Mikan grins as she joins Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama on the fountain, Gundham sitting next to her.

The sweets taste delicious on her tongue as she laughs with her classmates.

* * *

"I'm too lazy to do this," Owari declares to the class, holding a huge stack of papers with one hand. Her eyes start searching the desks, and the students tense. "So... You two do it instead."

She points at Mikan, before moving her arm up a bit to point at Kuzuryuu too.

"You have to do your work as class rep!" Mikan protests, trying to be courteous.

"Stop being a lazy ass!" Kuzuryuu adds, making absolutely no effort to be polite.

"Decision's already been made!" Owari grins cheerfully as she walks over to the pair. She divides the stack in two, plopping one half on each desk.

"How the hell did she become class representative again?" Mikan asks when Owari walks away, turning around in her seat to face Kuzuryuu.

" _Someone_ ," Kuzuryuu says in that special mix of annoyance, exasperation, and caution that Mikan has learned to associate with Komaeda, "thought it would be a good idea to have a literal brawl for the title. You're lucky you were sick that day."

"What, you don't think I could beat Owari?"

"Tsumiki, you might be a Yakuza, but Owari would kick your ass any day of the week."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence..." Mikan huffs, sulking as she took one of the papers, skimming over the contents.

Class trip, bus seating arrangements, food, rooms...

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Mikan gapes at the paper in shock. "You're asking us to organize a class trip?!"

"Wait, you're serious?"

Mikan passes him the sheet, watching him read the words.

"Owari, you piece of shit!" Kuzuryuu almost crumbles the paper in his fist when he finishes reading. "You can't just tell us to organize a damn field trip! Do your fucking job as our class rep already!"

"Ooooooooooooooh!" Mioda gasps in delight. "Maybe we should go to a gaming convention! Or a museum of swimsuits!"

"I definitely agree with the latter suggestion!" Hanamura exclaims quickly.

"Do swimsuit museums even exist?" Mikan turns to Kuzuryuu, though she only gets a shrug in return.

"Even if they did, there's no way in hell we're going there."

"Perhaps a museum of Japanese history?" Nevermind suggests. Souda and surprisingly enough, Saionji nod along to her suggestion. ( _Though Saionji did it begrudgingly, so maybe that didn't count._ )

"B-O-R-I-N-G!" Mioda shoots back. "There's no way we can get our hearts pumping and blood boiling in a place like that!"

"An animation exhibit?" Nanami suggests.

"Japanese history is the way to go!" Souda exclaims.

Suggestions and arguments fly left and right, Mikan and Kuzuryuu watching the entire thing blankly.

"Are... are we supposed to stop them...?" Mikan wonders as Saionji began throwing toothpicks at anyone who disagreed with her/annoyed her.

"It's not our job," Kuzuryuu states, before raising his voice so Owari would hear. "Now if _only_ the class rep would do _her actual job._ "

"I'm good with wherever, as long as it's not boring!" Owari pops in from the sidelines, prompting Kuzuryuu to slap his palm against his forehead.

"That fucking _moron."_

"There, there, Kuzuryuu-san," Mikan pats the blond on the head in what she hoped was a comforting manner. "I'm sure she'll gain some IQ points later on."

"Not fucking soon enough...!"

* * *

They end up visiting hot springs owned by Mikan's family, completely free of charge. Of course, Mikan didn't tell her classmates about the last tidbit. Better to let them all think that she and Kuzuryuu were really responsible, right?

A persistent grin was on her face as she shows her classmates to the huge room they would all be sharing. Mikan had been to the hot springs so many times that she would be able to lead the tour blindfolded.

She slips away as the group settles into their room. They could take care of themselves, plus, it would be a while until dinner, so Mikan had time for a quick bath. And besides, she deserves a break! Being a tour guide was tough work! And stressful too! Trying to keep all her classmates in line was as stressful as... um, being stuck in retail for... for an entire week!

Okay, _maybe_ she just wants an excuse to take a dip in the hot springs.

But any guilt she might have felt at the thought of deceiving her classmates melts away when she lowers herself into the spring. It's as warm and inviting and comforting as she remembers it. Mikan isn't sure whether it's the memories of spending time with her family or the time away from her hectic class that helps her relax so much.

She settles on a mix of the two. Mikan might have made it her goal to befriend the majority of her classmates before the end of the school year, but there's no way she would be able to spend _that_ much time with the chaotic class.

Everyone needed their alone time, right?

Mikan lets out a content sigh as she sinks deeper into the water, her eyes sliding shut naturally. It's amazing how all her stress and worries and fears feel so far away in the heat. It's like every negative emotion has drained a little piece of her soul away, but slowly, piece by piece, the warm relaxation is filling her up with happiness and serenity.

Time slips away from her in her moment of peace. She has no idea how long she's been gone by the time she hears someone slipping into the water with her.

She lazily flops her head towards the new person, peeking to discern their identity.

Mikan practically jumps out of the hot spring when she sees that it's her little sister.

* * *

"Everyone!" Mikan beams at the class as she gestures to the little girl in her arms. "Please meet my little sister, Monaka!"

( _In the background, Gundham freezes, dropping a pair of shorts as he gapes at the sight. He could handle assassins and assailants and attackers and various other a-words, but not_ **Monaka** _._ )

"Monaka hopes that you'll treat her kindly!" The green-haired girl grins, waving to the high school students.

"Oh great, a tiny gremlin," Saionji huffs, before a deriding smirk makes its way on her face. "I can see the family resemblance. You two are both ugly pigs!"

"Huh...? What is someone like you doing in Big Sis Mikan's class?" Monaka asks slowly, her smile dropping off of her face. She stares at the blonde chef curiously, innocently, as she asks, "Aren't you my classmate? Come on, let's go back to the kiddie room!"

" _FUCK YOU!"_

"Watch your fucking mouth around my little sister," Mikan snaps. Monaka pulls a knife out of her sleeve, passing it to her older sister. Mikan presses a kiss to Monaka's forehead before taking the blade, brandishing it at Saionji threateningly. "I can tolerate insults aimed at me, but if you insult Monaka, I'll cut your tongue out."

A silence falls over the room, before Nanami speaks up.

"Excuse me..." Nanami trails off, trying to recall a distant story in her memory. "Aren't you... Towa Mona-"

" _No_! No, it's _wrong_!" Monaka shrieks before Nanami even manages to finish her sentence. "It's _wrong_ , you hear me?! I've been Tsumiki Monaka since forever and ever and ever and-"

"Sh, sh, it's _fine_ , Monaka, calm down," Mikan says soothingly into Monaka's ear, rubbing her sister's back in an attempt to calm her.

"Argh, she's a brat too?" Saionji scowls at the sisters.

"Saionji, is it really wise to aggravate her like this?" Nevermind asks cautiously. "She has a knife..."

Mikan flinches at the words. Her classmates thought she was going to hurt them!

Before she could casually toss away the weapon, Monaka begins sobbing against her chest, bringing Mikan's attention back to her little sister. She couldn't care about anything else, not when Monaka was so upset.

"It's okay," Mikan reassured her, rubbing circles into her back. "You're with us now, and nothing will ever change that."

"Hey, I remember now!" Mioda exclaims. "She's the Towa heiress who got kidnapped and never returned!"

The sisters freeze at the words. Mikan immediately drops the knife, trying to cover her sister's ears.

"Are you telling me- She's been kidnapped by Yakuza the entire time?!" Nidai turns to Mikan in horror.

"N-no, that's not-"

"No way, Mikan-chan, was it really you...?" Koizumi stares at Mikan in shock, in _fear_ -

"I'm t-telling you, it w-wasn't-"

"She's been gone for years, and it was your fault the entire time?!" Saionji's eyes are full of disgust, anger, and it's awful, awful, _awful_. Everyone's going to hate her, they're all scared, no one is listening, why won't everyone _stop_ -

"Fools!" Gundham screams, stabbing his sword into the floor. Auntie Ochibi isn't going to be happy about that. "How can you not see it? There was _never_ a Towa Monaka! For years, that deception has persisted, only for her to be the second Tsumiki heiress the entire time! A magnificent plot!"

"We don't have time for your conspiracy theories!" Souda rebuts the swordsman's words. "We're trying to interrogate Tsumiki here!"

Mikan gulps. She was glad for Gundham's attempt, but he wasn't really _helping_ -

"Shouldn't you listen to Tsumiki's side of the story first?" Kuzuryuu cuts through everyone's accusations and questions, sighing like he saw the answer before anyone else. "We're never going to get anywhere if you guys don't shut up."

"Yes, it would be a good idea to let her speak," Pekoyama nods, and Mikan wants to burst into tears. There were people on her side. There were people who would listen.

"There's no need for that," Monaka states, her voice completely calm. She sounds years older than she really was, boredom and apathy in her tone. "I'll tell you everything."

"Are you sure, Monaka...?" Mikan asks carefully.

"Yeah, it's better than letting you cry over it again," Monaka says with a smug smirk, and Mikan almost drops her ass on the floor.

"I don't cry about it!" Both Gundham and Monaka stare at her, prompting Mikan to add a quiet, "...anymore."

"Right, right, of course, Big Sis," Monaka waves her off, beginning to tell her story. "So, there were once a couple of complete scumbags. They treated their only daughter like shit, because she was her father's bastard daughter."

"Let me guess, let me guess! That daughter was you?" Mioda asks.

"No fucking shit, Mioda," Kuzuryuu grumbles.

"We really shouldn't interrupt the story..." Koizumi states. "Save it until after she's done."

"Thank you very much, Big Sis Redhead!" Monaka cheers, before turning to Mikan. "Can we kidnap her? I like her."

" _No_ ," Mikan says firmly.

"Awww..." Monaka pouts. "Anyways, where was I? The scumbag pieces of shit? Well, they were rich and corrupt and immoral. They owned a huge company with control over a ton of Japan's products! The police couldn't go against them, not when they had so much power! They would get away with their crimes completely unpunished! Oh no! Oh no! Tears and tragedy and-"

"Nah, just kidding," Monaka drops her childish tone suddenly, an amused grin on her face. "Even they had a weakness. That scumbag family needed help to be that powerful, so they went to the Yakuza for help. Loan sharks, y'know? 'cept the family they went to saw how awful they were, and did their best to screw those assholes over. They demanded so much money that the pieces of shit were going to go bankrupt. The asshole family got so desperate that they offered to sell their bastard daughter to the Yakuza."

The class stares at Monaka in horror and pity. Even Saionji seems disturbed by that information, a tight-lipped frown on her face as the little girl continues.

"Of course, the bastard daughter is much happier with the Yakuza family than with her old family. Her new older sister even made it a rule that anyone who sold their kids to pay off a debt would get hit by quadruple the interest!" She waves a hand at Mikan with a bright smile. "Isn't my older sister amazing?"

"Incredible!" Gundham gasps immediately, trying to make Mikan look good. "An angel sent from the heavens to save this poor child!"

"We really shouldn't have doubted Mikan-chan," Koizumi sighs.

"I guess she isn't _that_ bad," Saionji grumbles begrudgingly, pouting.

"I'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Mioda wails, tossing herself at the sister pair. She wraps her arms around the sisters, burying her face in Mikan's neck. "I didn't mean to-"

"I-it's fine, Mioda-san!" Mikan smiles, and...

If there are tears of joy and relief running down her face, no one bothers mentioning it.

* * *

"Up you go!" Mikan grins as she lifts Monaka onto the seat next to her at the dining table.

"You really love spoiling her, don't you?" Kuzuryuu asks as he takes the seat on Mikan's other side. He almost seems amused by her insistence on carrying the green-haired girl around everywhere. After all, he _knew_ Monaka could walk, so there wasn't any other reason for Mikan to do that.

Mikan reaches over to grab a plate for Monaka, before turning to address Kuzuryuu."I just can't help it, you know? She's my cute little sister! She deserves the world!"

"I know what you mean," Kuzuryuu smiles wistfully. "It's the same for me and Natsumi."

"You have a little sister?" Mikan stares at him curiously.

( _Neither one notices the evil glares Monaka gives Kuzuryuu, even though her demonic face manages to make everyone else shudder. Souda collapses on the table, though Nevermind is sure that he's only terrified and not dead.)_

"Yeah. She's manipulative and rude, but she can be really sweet when she wants to."

"Wow! She sounds like a carbon-copy of Monaka!" Mikan gasps.

" _Please._ Natsumi is _much_ better than your pickle princess," Kuzuryuu shoots back.

"D-don't t-t-talk to my-" Mikan can't even finish the sentence before breaking down, giggling at the words. "Okay. T-that was actually pretty funny."

"Big Sis Miiiiiiiiikaaaaaaaaaan," Monaka whines, clinging to the brunette's arm. "Can you chop up my fish for me?"

"Of course!" Mikan turns away from Kuzuryuu.

She doesn't notice the smug smirk Monaka gives Kuzuryuu behind her back, nor does she notice Kuzuryuu glaring at her little sister in return.

"Tsumiki, did you remember to take your medicine?" Kuzuryuu inquires, trying to steal her attention. And he knew one surefire way to do that.

"Yes, I did," Mikan sighs exasperatedly. "Why?"

"Because you're the kind of person I need to worry about."

"What the fuck does that mean?!" Mikan demands, rounding on the blond. Her task is completely forgotten as she glares at him.

"It means that I see you in the infirmary _way_ too much."

"That's _not_ my fault!"

"I'm not saying that it's your fault, I'm saying that you need to get hurt less often!" Kuzuryuu rolls his eyes. "Seriously, do you think I _like_ seeing you hurt or something?"

"...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Mikan nods in realization, her eyes widening at Kuzuryuu. "You try to act tough, but you're actually a worried mother, aren't you?"

"Shut the hell up!" Kuzuryuu snaps.

"Ehehehe, I totally understand now!" Mikan exclaims with a bright grin. "You're like the ultimate mother hen of the class!"

"Didn't I just say to shut up?!" Kuzuryuu blushes, which only makes Mikan's grin grow wider. She was having _way_ too much fun with teasing him.

It was actually sort of nice. She _liked_ spending time with Kuzuryuu when he wasn't pissing her off.

He actually wasn't that bad.

Now that Mikan thought about it... Kuzuryuu probably insisted on eating lunch with her because he wanted to make sure she was eating healthy ( _even though he only ate candy, that hypocrite._ ) And he walked her to class to make sure she didn't fall down the stairs or die on her way to class. ( _Again_.)

It all made sense now! Kuzuryuu was a mother all along!

Huh. Did that count as being a friend? Was Kuzuryuu her friend?

Mikan puzzles over the thought for the rest of the night. She's still doubting and wondering about the concept of friendship by the time they return to school.

* * *

"U-um, Kuzuryuu-san..." Mikan pinches at her bandaged fingers, gulping as she approaches the blond's desk.

It's weird. She would be calmer if there was an assassin pointing a gun at her. Why the hell is she so nervous when it's just Kuzuryuu?

( _But what if her request is too much to ask? What if he scoffs at the idea and hates her and then she loses her sort-of-friend?_ )

"Something wrong?" Kuzuryuu's voice isn't annoyed or on edge, but she wouldn't call his tone relaxed either. He just seems more... neutral.

Mikan isn't sure whether to consider that a good thing or a bad thing.

"I... I have a r-request...!" For once, Mikan's stammering and nervousness is entirely genuine. She knows that Kuzuryuu can tell too. It's obvious in the way his eyes widen in shock that he's completely taken aback by it. "If we're f-friends... can I c-call you by your first name?"

"What the hell's with that ' _if'_?" His voice slips back into ' _irritable_ ' territory, and Mikan _knows_ it's her fault and she's about to apologize-

"Isn't it obvious that we are?" He adds, crossing his arms over his chest as he stares at her exasperatedly.

"H-h-hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?!"

"Come on, Mikan, we're going to be late for lunch," Fuyuhiko huffs as he stands up. He walks towards the door, before pausing in front of it to turn back to Mikan. "Are you coming?"

"Y-yes! Of course, Fuyuhiko-kun!" She grins brightly as she dashes towards him.

She doesn't notice Fuyuhiko smiling fondly at her as they walk down the hallway together or the fact that Gundham and Pekoyama are still in the classroom.

Mikan's just happy that she made an actual, real-life, not-Gundham friend.

* * *

"Fuyuhiko, you asshole midget!" Mikan swears under her breath as she stops to grab the empty gummy bag off the hallway floor.

"What the hell did I do?" He asks, stopping to face the brunette.

"Pick up your damn trash!" Mikan orders, holding the plastic bag in front of his face with a scowl. "Don't just leave it there, you litterer! What if Fluffy eats it or something?!"

"That wasn't me," Fuyuhiko rolls his eyes, before adding casually, "Fluffy got put down a week ago."

"WHAT?! No! You can't be serious!" Mikan stares at him in shock and horror, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "How could that happen?!"

"I was joking."

"You..." Mikan grits her teeth together, glaring furiously at Fuyuhiko. "Don't play with a girl's heart like that, you _jerk_!" Mikan screams in anguish, kicking at a wooden door to vent off some frustration-

Oh.

The pair stare at the scene in silence. Mikan tries to pull her leg back from the door, but her calve is stuck in the wood. If she tries to escape, sharp teeth scratch at her and it _hurts_ -

A soft whimper escapes from her lips, and suddenly, the door is sliced off its hinges. A second later, the wood is cut up into pieces, falling apart so quickly that Mikan falls back onto her ass onto the hallway floor.

"Young Mistress! I have been summoned by your cry of distress! Allow me to slay all who cause you pain and sorrow!" Gundham declares, pointing his sword at Fuyuhiko.

"Wait until _after_ I'm done treating her leg, would you?!" Fuyuhiko snaps, kneeling down, pulling tweezers and a roll of bandages from his apron.

"Understand this, tiny one, if you are the one who has caused my Unholy Mistress such agony, you shall be the next one to face my blade," Gundham warns the blonde, brandishing the blade threateningly.

Mikan whimpers once again as Fuyuhiko begins plucking splinters from her leg, trying her best to hold back tears. Ever since she was a kid, she had the pain tolerance of tissue paper, and having a million sharp, pointy pieces of wood and numerous bleeding cuts in her leg is too much for her.

Gundham immediately rushes to her side, wrapping his arms around her. He makes sure to block her crying face from Fuyuhiko's point of view, whispering about dark arts and sacred tears. It really shouldn't be comforting, but it _is_ , and Mikan wraps her arms around the swordsman, sobbing into his shoulder.

She doesn't notice Fuyuhiko scowling at the sight, before returning to his work. Mikan doesn't notice him mumbling to himself, saying something like ' _this is the second fucking time, what the hell does the world have against this beautiful pair of legs'_ or how he starts blushing right after.

She _does_ notice the rapidly-approaching sound of yipping, yapping, and barking. It echoes around the hallway, no, it's too many noises at once to be a single dog-

Mikan gasps in delight as a tiny golden sunshine pup approaches her, then another, then another, then the proud mother shows up at her side. Pekoyama walks up to the trio with a small smile on her face.

"I was trying to help Peko keep it a secret..." Fuyuhiko mutters as he begins wrapping Mikan's leg in bandages.

"I see that you've met Cuddly, Hugs, and Teddy Bear," Pekoyama says with a smile.

"Are those seriously their names?!" Mikan grins, her tears forgotten the moment puppies showed up.

Gundham judges that his embrace is no longer necessary, releasing Mikan. He moves to sit next to her as the dogs gather around her excitedly.

Fuyuhiko's grateful for that. He's glad that he can see the joy and excitement on Mikan's face as she laughs and tries to pet all of Fluffy's kids at once.

He doesn't see the reason why Mikan would have to put on acts around others. He doesn't see a fearsome Yakuza heiress when he looks at her.

When Fuyuhiko looks at her, he sees a normal girl who felt the need to act around others, even though he fell in love with the bright smiles, sharp words, and brutal honesty she tried to hide.

* * *

"Peko told me to give this to you," Fuyuhiko mumbles, plopping a paper bag on Mikan's desk. He avoids Mikan's questioning gaze, pointedly looking away from her.

"Somehow, I doubt Peko had anything to do with this."

"Are you calling me a fucking liar?!"

"You probably wanted to get me a gift, got too embarrassed to say that was it, and tried to say that Pekoyama-san was the one behind this," Mikan reasoned.

"Shut. Up," Fuyuhiko orders, glaring at Mikan. The efficacy of the glare is completely ruined by the fact that he's blushing while doing so.

"Sure-" Mikan pauses as she stares into the depths of the bag, her eyes widening. Her gaze is almost reverent as she carefully pulls the contents out of the bag, disbelief obvious in her face.

"Caramel cubes?!" Mikan gasps in delight, giggling gleefully to herself. "They're my favourite! How did you know?"

"I told you, Peko told me to give it to you..." Fuyuhiko mumbles under his breath.

"Thank you so much," Mikan smiles gratefully at the blond. "This really means a lot to me."

"Seriously, they're just candies..." Fuyuhiko huffs with pink cheeks. "I can just buy you some more."

"Really?!" Mikan beams as him giddily, so excited that she grabs at his hands to pull him closer.

"Er, yeah."

"Oh my god! That would be amazing! You're amazing, you're _amazing_ , I _love_ you!" Mikan practically threw herself at Fuyuhiko, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

Fuyuhiko screams internally, his cheeks burning a brighter red than a Red Delicious apple. He clamps his mouth shut, because he's 100% certain that he'll just embarrass himself with incomprehensible stammering if he tries to speak.

Fuyuhiko _knows_ that, had Mikan omitted the last three words, he would be fine. Sure, there would be some blushing, but he would be capable of fighting the intoxicating warmth in his body long enough to come up with a proper response.

It's ridiculous. Fuyuhiko knows that Mikan doesn't mean anything by it. He _knows_ that there's zero chance of them going anywhere beyond friendship, not with that damn swordsman in the picture, but he can't stop his heart from racing or his stomach from flipping, anymore than he can stop breathing for ten years.

Fuyuhiko's a fucking goner.

A few desks away, Gundham and Pekoyama watch the scene.

"My efforts are proving more fruitful," Pekoyama states, her expression completely professional as she turns towards Gundham.

"Do not allow your memory to cloud over, bespectacled one," Gundham retorts, taking a bite of his lunch. "I, Tanaka Gundham was the one who bestowed upon you the forbidden knowledge necessary for this victory. Thus, this success is a shared effort."

"Understood," Pekoyama nods, before a determined, almost sinister grin appears on her face. "But _I_ will be the one to win our little game."

"We shall see what fate holds, bespectacled one."

* * *

Fuyuhiko has a lot of conflicted feelings about the Yakuza heiress. On one hand, he wants everyone to see how kind and sweet she was under her polite facade. On the other hand, he's grateful for the fact that he's one of the few people she blesses with the sight of her breathtakingly-beautiful smile.

Fuyuhiko practically _melted_ every time he saw her smile. It's like the sun decided to share its warmth and light with him, just by letting him get close enough to see. His eyes would become glued to her face, memorizing the lines of her eyes as his heart raced in his chest.

It's not any different now, even when he's holding a gift box up by the barely-holding-on wrapping paper like he's holding up the most disgusting piece of trash he's ever seen.

"Mikan, what the fuck is this," Fuyuhiko asks flatly, trying his best to hide the fact that he's admiring her and her fucking intoxicating smile.

"Your Christmas present!" Mikan exclaims, clasping her hands together under a bright grin. "Do you like it?"

He's not sure whether he's supposed to be honest or be nice. On one hand, if he lies to be nice, Mikan might get upset if she finds out. On the other hand, Mikan obviously wouldn't be happy if he outright told her that he hated it...

"There's a fucking unicorn plastered on the chest," Fuyuhiko says instead, before wanting to slap himself. Like she wouldn't know that already!

"I don't see the problem with that," Mikan smirks smugly, and Fuyuhiko realizes, _oh._ She did this on purpose. He sort of wants to throw the box at her, but... there was no way he would actually be able to go through with that.

( _It's only because it would be a pain to treat a wound he caused himself,_ okay _? That's the only damn reason,_ got it?!)

"Why would you do this?" He hisses, pulling the awful sweater out of the box. It jingles as he holds it out to her, showing off the bells outlining the gigantic unicorn head. There was no way you could ignore the unicorn. It completely dominated the sweater, though the background was ugly too. Behind the unicorn head was a mess of red and green and white, along with horizontal stripes of tinsel.

Fuyuhiko sums up his thoughts on the sweater with a simple, "This is a fucking disaster."

"I have a collection of terrible Christmas sweaters from my uncle, so I wanted to get you a matching one," Mikan explains with a smile.

Uh.

Fuck. He's _not_ getting embarrassed over the idea of them wearing matching clothes, the way couples do. There's no way in fucking _hell_ -

He drops the sweater back into the box, making the bells chime loudly from the impact.

"I guess I better accept it then," Fuyuhiko mutters with pink cheeks. He tries to put a joking smile on his face as he continues. "Wouldn't want you to suffer from horrible Christmas sweater syndrome alone."

Mikan smiles at him gratefully, clapping her hands together.

( _She's mesmerizing, beautiful, enchanting... and he's not the type of sappy idiot who used those kinds of words for any random person. Fuyuhiko usually reserves those words for things like glowing starlight and glittering snowfall, rare sights he treasures for the rest of his life... which really put into perspective how bad his crush was._ )

* * *

"' _Mikan, did you take your medicine yet?' 'Mikan, let me check your bandages,'_ " Mikan deepens her voice in a poor imitation of the nurse's voice. She groans, burying her face in her pillow. "He's so annoying! He's always worrying about me, fussing over me like a kid! And even though I like the attention and all, and I think it's sweet of him to do that, and it's sort of cute how he keeps worrying about everyone, it's _so_ annoying!"

"Somehow, I doubt that annoyance is the word you seek," Gundham says in return, not looking up from his sword-polishing. He inspects the sharpened metal carefully, making sure not to miss a single spot with his cleaning tools.

"What else could it be?" Mikan asks, lifting her head from the cushion to stare at Gundham blankly.

"Tell me something, Mikan," Gundham sets his sword aside, dropping his defences and his theatrics the way he could inky do around Mikan. He didn't lose his formality, but that was just how Gundham worked. "What do you think about Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko?"

"He's Fuyuhiko," Mikan answers simply, earning a weird look from Gundham.

"And what does that mean?"

"Like... he's just... Fuyuhiko," Mikan concludes vaguely. "He just... um."

"What are you thinking?" Gundham inquires, staring at Mikan curiously.

"I don't know how to say it," Mikan huffs, pouting. "I guess... it's like..." Mikan puffs her cheeks out as she thinks, looking a bit like her little sister. "Sometimes he annoys me, sometimes we argue, but other times, he's someone I can joke around with and relax around? And he's cute, and it's fun to tease him when he keeps trying to cover up his mother hen habits... and he's sweet, even though he tries to act tough. It's really adorable."

"...Mikan," Gundham says flatly. "I am now, more than ever, certain that you are not annoyed by the tiny one."

"Then what the hell is this?" Mikan asks, looking towards Gundham for an answer.

"Love."

Mikan throws the pillow at him.

"Don't make bad jokes like that!" Mikan rolls her eyes, propping herself up in her elbows to face the swordsman. "I thought you were actually serious for a second there."

"I was," Gundham states, earning a wide-eyed stare from Mikan.

"What...what the fuck."

* * *

"There's no damn way that's it!" Mikan grumbles to herself as she takes her seat. She doesn't even _try_ to hide the annoyed scowl on her face.

Seriously, Gundham was a dummy! He went from ' _evil overlord_ ' to ' _inaccurate love gossip'!_ How he got that idea, Mikan would never know, but she wouldn't stop pouting and blaming him until _he_ stopped! Until then, she was going to write ' _DUMMY_ ' in permanent marker all over his stuff and steal his fake tattoos and-

"Mornin' Mikan," Fuyuhiko greets her, passing by to reach his seat.

"Good morning, Fuyuhiko-kun!" Mikan smiles at him automatically.

"You're cheerful today," Fuyuhiko notes with a small grin. "Did something good happen?"

"Huh?" Mikan turns around to stare at him in confusion. Didn't he see her scowling and pouting? "No, I was actually pretty pissed off-"

Mikan cuts herself off, her eyes widening. Her mood improved the moment she saw Fuyuhiko.

"Something wrong?" Fuyuhiko asks, a bit of concern leaking into his voice.

"No, it's nothing," Mikan waves the issue away.

She notices Gundham turned around in his seat, watching them intently.

Mikan kicks his chair, before returning to her conversation without missing a beat.

* * *

"Urgh, who invited her?!" Saionji points a finger at Mikan, scowling in disgust. "She'll get gunpowder all over my sweets!"

" _I_ invited her," Koizumi states, making Saionji pause.

Saionji grumbles something under her breath, returning to her work. Owari marvels at the chef's array of delicious candies, and Nevermind has to stop her from eating all of it in one gulp.

"Mikan-chan, tell me if Hiyoko-chan bothers you, alright?" Koizumi turns to the Yakuza princess with a small, awkward smile on her face.

"N-no, that's fine...! I'll be fine!" Mikan exclaims quickly.

"Are you sure?" The redhead stares at her in concern, looking like a doting mother. "I want to make sure everyone has fun."

"Don't worry, I'll tell you if something i-is bothering me," Mikan lies with a shy smile. She didn't want any incidents to happen during Koizumi's girls' day, even if that meant enduring Saionji's insults.

Even so, she gravitates towards Pekoyama, timidly asking to help the breeder cook. A tiny grin appears on Mikan's face when Pekoyama agrees, allowing Mikan to join in.

"Is i-it alright if I t-take some of your sugar?" Mikan requests quietly. "I want to make s-some chocolate of my own."

"Of course it's okay," Pekoyama smiles at her.

Mikan is careful to keep her posture withdrawn and defensive as she moves towards the sack of sugar. She has to look timid, calm, and approachable. Hide anger and irritation and knives and scowls so no one got scared. That was how people made friends.

Except... that wasn't how it worked for Gundham or Fuyuhiko...

But Gundham's been with her since birth. The swordsman was already used to blades and bullets and poison and curses, so he didn't count.

 _'But Fuyuhiko...'_ Mikan frowns at the bag of sugar, losing herself in a question. ' _How is he not scared of me? He's a normal student, so why...?'_

"Are you alright?" Pekoyama asks, making Mikan jump.

"Y-yes! I'm fine! I'm definitely, _definitely_ fine!" Mikan shrieks.

"You were lost in thought."

"I was lost in thought," Mikan confesses, almost ashamed of herself.

"Would you like to tell me about it?" Pekoyama offers.

"Um, I d-don't want to trouble you w-with this..." Mikan mumbles, shying away from the breeder's eyes. For once, the gesture is completely genuine, not just an act put up to look approachable.

"A talk with a friend can solve all sorts of troubles," Pekoyama says with a wise smile, and Mikan almost drops the sugar.

"Y-y-you think of m-me as a-a friend?!" Her voice raises in volume as she gasps delightedly at Pekoyama, a gleeful grin making its way on her face.

"Of course," Pekoyama says with a smile.

Mikan wants to burst into tears, she wants to thank Pekoyama for being so kind, she wants to write it down on paper, over and over to make sure she really, truly understands.

She made a friend. A normal person considers her a friend.

Mikan belatedly realizes that Fuyuhiko counts as a normal person. Her smile falls off her face as her mind is dragged back to the pressing question.

"Is something wrong?" Pekoyama inquires, staring at Mikan with concern in her eyes.

"U-uh, I was just wondering!" Mikan slaps an awkward grin on her face. She gnaws at her bottom lip as she fidgets, pinching at her fingers in her attempt to fib. "For t-the chocolate, y'know? An important question that's really... um, important...?"

Pekoyama nods, waiting for Mikan to continue.

"Er, and um, there's... there's this... guy," Mikan makes a vague gesture in the air, almost like she's waving her hands at the mental image of 'this guy'. "And I... kinda want to make him chocolates, I guess."

"May I ask for a name?"

"Ummmm... G-Gun...dham...?" Mikan offers, because he's the first name on her mind. Pekoyama fixes her with a blank stare, immediately telling Mikan that the breeder didn't believe her for a second.

"Is it Fuyuhiko?" Pekoyama asks bluntly, making Mikan flinch.

"E-er, um, I-I don't, uh, u-um..." Mikan's voice dies in her throat. On one hand, her pride won't let her say that Gundham is right, even if she's only lying. But on the other hand, Pekoyama just handed her a good excuse on a silver fucking platter, and Mikan doesn't want to pass out on an escape route because of her pride.

Pekoyama sighs, before simply saying, "He's lactose-intolerant. I'll help you make some of his favourite sweets instead."

"Uh... thank you..." It takes a lot of effort for Mikan to keep her voice from turning questioning at the end.

There's a small, hesitant smile on her face as Pekoyama begins guiding her through the steps, the Yakuza princess giggling gleefully in her head at her success in making another friend.

* * *

"F-for me?" Fuyuhiko stares at the gift in disbelief, his face slowly growing red.

"Yep! Koizumi-san invited all the girls' to a cooking day!" Mikan exclaims with a bright grin.

Oh god. Fuyuhiko can barely _think_ through the sound of his heart hammering away at his rib cage. His stomach feels light enough to be floating around the ceiling somewhere. He does his best to ignore the warmth in his chest, even though it feels like he's inhaling flames and spewing out smoke, and he has to fight to be able to fucking _breathe_ -

"I made some as well," Peko states, holding out a paper bag.

It's like she just interrupted one of the most peaceful and restful naps in his life by gently slapping him in the face. The warm and fuzzy and intoxicating feelings are still there, just diminished a bit. He's not sure whether he should be mad that Peko ruined the moment for him or if he should be grateful that he's lucid enough to get irritated.

"Thanks," Fuyuhiko says simply, taking both of the bags. His face feels so hot that he bets he could pass as a heatstroke patient, but no. If the imaginary doctors asked what illness he was suffering from, he would probably just say, _'I'm feeling lovesick.'_

 _(Holy fuck, that was_ **terrible** _**,** Fuyuhiko, shut up and stop thinking, you're just going to _ **embarrass** _yourself-)_

"You're actually really cute, you know?" Mikan's voice is completely calm and casual, even though Fuyuhiko nearly dies of a heart attack.

' _Cute_ ' isn't really the word he wants to hear. ' _Cute_ ' is a word people associate with bunnies and kids and tooth-rotting fluff. That wasn't the sort of image he wanted to have.

But... sometimes people used ' _cute'_ as a stand-in for ' _hot_ ', right?

Fuyuhiko ends up doing something he vowed not to do; he _hopes_ that was what Mikan meant, even if he knew that there was no way in hell she'd ever want him.

The only thing he was good for was treating wounds. That's the only reason why Peko stayed with him all those years. That was the only reason his parents haven't thrown him out on the street yet. They kept him around so he could make sure they didn't actually kill each other, and even when he wondered why he bothered putting up with them, why he didn't run from violent outbursts and insults and harsh blows, he still treated them-

Fuyuhiko's rapidly-declining train of thought suddenly comes to an end as he opens Mikan's bag. His eyes widen as he stares into the depths of the paper sack.

His fingers pinch at a cookie, carefully pulling it out to examine it in the light. Fuyuhiko remembers surgeries and plucking bone fragments out of incisions as he stares at the sweet. It's round and small enough to sit in the palm of his hand, and it leaves sticky residue all over his fingers. On top of the brown surface, there's an image of a bunny's face drawn in white icing. The bunny's grinning at him, a circle of pink hearts surrounding the rabbit's head.

Holy fucking hell.

"Why the fuck is it so _adorable_?" Fuyuhiko mutters to himself, his cheeks returning to a familiar shade of red.

"Do you like it?" Mikan smiles at him, before blushing a bit. Her expression becomes more bashful and, dare he say it? She looks _embarrassed._

( _Was... was it because of him? Was he the reason? Was it possible or was he just so desperate that he was misinterpreting all of her words and actions?_ )

"I _might_ have gone overboard with the decorations," Mikan admits.

"No kidding," Fuyuhiko retorts automatically, before gulping. "But... thanks for the food."

He lifts the cookie to his lips, all too aware of Mikan's eyes watching him as he takes the first bite. It's sweet and sugary and warm. There's a smile on his face as he takes another bite, remembering trips to the candy store with his sister.

Mikan grins to herself as Fuyuhiko finishes the pastry. It's obvious just from the way that Fuyuhiko beams that he loves it, but she awaits his verdict excitedly anyways. She wants to hear him praise her and thank her and tell her that she's amazing and lovely and beautiful-

Wait, what?

Mikan pauses, trying to make sense of the situation.

Why does the thought of Fuyuhiko lavishing attention on her bring fluttery feelings to her chest? Why doesn't that happen with Gundham or Pekoyama or anyone else?

Mikan freezes when she realizes it, her eyes widening.

 _'Gundham's right...'_ Mikan shakes her head, her pride flaring up in her again. _'No, he can't be! That's not it! That_ can't _be it!'_

A small part of her wonders why she was fighting the thought so much. Would it really be that bad to have a crush on Fuyuhiko?

Every other part of her tells that small fraction to shut up, since there was no way she was admitting that Gundham was right.

Either way, her heartbeat thumps away in her ears when Fuyuhiko smiles up at her, rambling on about how delicious her baking was. It's either infatuation or arrhythmia that makes her falter at the sight.

Her pride hopes it's arrhythmia.

* * *

_'I guess he wouldn't be that bad as a boyfriend,'_ Mikan admits to herself as they eat lunch together, sitting side-by-side on the edge of the outdoor fountain. They were alone, since Gundham insisted that he had some ' _business'_ to do with Pekoyama.

( _Bullshit. They were either scheming or screwing, and Mikan was pretty damn sure she knew which one it was._ )

She smiles joyfully as Fuyuhiko passes her a bag of caramel cubes, popping one into her mouth. _'He gets me candy, for one thing.'_

 _'He's sweet too,'_ Mikan snickers to herself at the unintentional pun. Her eyes drift towards his face, and she finds herself admiring his features.

There was no denying it. Out of everyone in the class, Mikan thought Fuyuhiko was the cutest. Mioda and Nevermind and Pekoyama were pretty, but... no one else blushed and stammered like Fuyuhiko did. No one else got embarrassed and flustered like he did. He worried about her, but he tried so hard to look cool and tough while doing it that Mikan couldn't help but find it adorable.

"Why the fuck are you staring at me like that?" Fuyuhiko demands, staring at her harshly. The effect is ruined somewhat by the fact that he's munching on a marshmallow, which only makes Mikan laugh a bit.

"I was just thinking about what it would be like if I was dating you," Mikan blurts out without thinking. He had that weird effect on her. Whenever Fuyuhiko was around, Mikan would end up saying exactly what was on her mind, regardless of politeness or courtesy.

That was a good thing, ri-

Fuyuhiko begins choking on his marshmallow, a strangled cry escaping from his throat. He's coughing and retching like a cat, but even after a few seconds, the sweet doesn't emerge.

"U-uh, do I do CPR?!" Mikan asks frantically, grabbing at his arm. "Fuyuhiko, how do I help you?!"

"He-heimlich...!" Fuyuhiko gasps between coughs.

 _'What the fuck's a heimlich?!'_ Mikan panics, before a memory flashes before her eyes.

She stands up, pulling Fuyuhiko up with her. She spins him around so his back is facing her, drawing back her fist and-

...apparently, Mikan hit him _too_ hard, because he's sprawled all over the ground all of a sudden.

' _Did I knock him unconscious...?'_ Mikan wonders as she kneels down, before hearing a groan.

"That is _not_ how the heimlich maneuver works, Mikan," Fuyuhiko huffs, lifting himself up to stare at her exasperatedly.

"You're okay!" Mikan wails, throwing herself at the blond, wrapping her arms around his stomach. "Oh god, that was _terrifying_!"

"Aren't you a Yakuza...?"

"You just don't get it!" Mikan huffs, before sniffling. "E-even if I am, it doesn't mean... It doesn't mean I don't get scared. I seriously t-thought you were poisoned! Or, or...!" Tears pour from her eyes as her mind comes up with more and more awful ways of losing Fuyuhiko.

"That's obviously not what happened," Fuyuhiko retorts, before almost slapping himself. He tries his best to switch tracks and start comforting the sobbing brunette. "I'm fine, so you don't have to worry, okay?"

"Don't die on me..." Mikan orders, though it sounds more like a desperate plea with the tears running down her cheeks.

"I won't."

The lunch bell rings, but Mikan's not ready to go back to class yet. Not after someone so important to her nearly dying.

"Want to skip class today?" Fuyuhiko offers, and Mikan nods gratefully.

("Hey, Fuyuhiko?" Mikan pokes him later, long after her tears have dried and her mood restored. "You're a normal guy, right?"

"Define ' _normal'_ ," Fuyuhiko says stiffly.

"Are you affiliated with any families?" Mikan asks casually. Fuyuhiko sighs in relief as he realizes what she meant."Got any ties to the Yakuza?"

"No, but only if you don't count," Fuyuhiko replies easily.

"Then I guess you're a normal high school student."

"Why are you even asking?"

"...I...I wanted to know why you weren't afraid of me," Mikan confesses. Her face darkens as more memories come back to haunt her, years of isolation and being feared creeping up on her. "Most normal people are, right?"

"Mikan..." Fuyuhiko hesitates, not wanting to make her even more upset. He slaps a joking grin on his face, trying to lighten the mood. "Maybe I just don't feel fear."

"Fuyuhiko!" Mikan whines, pouting at him. "I really want to know!"

Fuyuhiko pauses, his smile falling off his face with a sigh.

"I guess I'm not scared of dying," Fuyuhiko confesses. "Hard to be scared of something you see so often."

"Oh..." Mikan's eyes fill with pity, a frown marring her face. "I'm sorry."

"It's part of being a nurse," Fuyuhiko shrugs. "There's always someone I can't save." He sighs at the memories, unable to place names to the faces that came to mind. Guilt and disgust flare up in his body. How _dare_ he forget their names, their faces, when he was the reason why they were dead? If Fuyuhiko were faster, if he didn't make that one mistake, if he recognized the signs sooner they would all be _alive-_

"But I can't just give up," Fuyuhiko sighs, pushing his self-loathing to the back of his head. "Giving up would just lead to more people dying."

"You're incredible," Mikan smiles warmly at him, her words entirely genuine. "You're really, really amazing, Fuyuhiko," Her voice grows more excited and energetic as she goes on, her determination to cheer up her friend being converted into sheer enthusiasm. "You're always trying so hard to help everyone, no matter how small the wound is! Fuyuhiko, you work harder than anyone else in the class to keep us all safe! You're super admirable!"

Fuyuhiko pauses, his eyes widening at the brunette. It doesn't take long for his guilt and disgust to be wiped away. His self-loathing is replaced by warmth coursing through his veins. He's inhaling fire and breathing out smoke, but Fuyuhiko already learned that he's okay with that.

He's completely fine with the way Mikan gives him happiness without even realizing it. He's okay with the way her smile brings his heart to a stop and the way every touch electrifies his skin. Fuyuhiko can deal with his hopeless crush on her, just as long as it doesn't interfere with their friendship.

"...thanks," Fuyuhiko whispers. He can't even look at her, a small smile on his face as his cheeks heat up.

Mikan thinks it's adorable.)

* * *

Mikan slams Gundham's door open, stomping over to his desk before he can say a word. The swordsman watches blankly as she slaps a packet of fake tattoos on the vandalized table. The package falls right on top of the word ' _DUMMY'_ , covering it from view.

The Yakuza heiress turns to Gundham with a withering glare, gritting her teeth together. "Don't say _anything._ "

"I haven't said a word since you barged in," Gundham points out.

"You were about to," Mikan huffs, marching towards his bed and plopping herself down on the mattress. She crosses her arms over her chest, looking annoyed and flustered at the same time.

"Why have you come here tonight?" Gundham inquires carefully.

"Help me get Fuyuhiko to fall in love with me."

The swordsman stares at her in disbelief, Mikan slowly beginning to turn pink and fidgety in his gaze.

"I-I just wanted to work on m-my seduction skills, that's all!" Mikan declares defensively.

"No, I wasn't doubting your motives..." Gundham says, trying to think of the best way to word his thoughts. "But... you _do_ realize that the tiny one has been quite taken with you for quite a while now, right?"

"You... you're actually serious...?" Mikan gapes at the swordsman in shock.

"I have never lied to you."

Mikan is completely silent for a few seconds, before a soft curse escapes from her lips.

* * *

"You _do_ realize that this is counter-productive, right?" Pekoyama asks, addressing the brunette.

"But I do this every year," Mikan answers as they walk to class together. She holds a paper bag in each hand. One is decorated with glittery stickers. The other just has the swordsman's name scrawled on it in black marker.

"That's not the problem here," Pekoyama states as they cross the threshold into the classroom.

"Gundham, here!" Mikan places the Valentine's Day chocolates on his desk, not noticing how Fuyuhiko flinches at the sight.

"You... you didn't put salt in them this year, right?" Gundham asks warily, staring at the bag like it might steal his soul.

"Of course not!" Mikan answers immediately.

"Mix up flour and powdered soap?"

"No!"

"Did you blow up the oven-"

"I didn't!" Mikan pouts, puffing her cheeks out as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Seriously, after all these years, you still don't trust me?!"

( _Peko's eyes widen with horror, the silver-haired breeder risking a glance at Fuyuhiko. His hands are curled up into fists on top of his desk, his teeth gritted together like he was barely restraining himself from exploding._ )

"I've suffered too many years of food poisoning for trust to come so easily," Gundham quips, before getting a kick to the shin from Mikan.

"Jerk," Mikan huffs, turning around to approach Fuyuhiko. She holds up the decorated bag, trying to smile for the blond. "Sorry about that. I made some for you too-"

"I don't want your leftovers!" Fuyuhiko snaps, scowling at Mikan.

Mikan's eyes widen with shock, before her face falls. "...okay. I understand."

She looks absolutely _crushed_ , but before Fuyuhiko can apologize, the teacher walks in.

( _Class is a mess of anxiety and guilt for him. He's harsh and rude and he hurt Mikan and honestly why does he think that he's worthy of being around her. He's a failure, he's an idiot, a moron, a dumbass, he shouldn't even be-_ )

( _Mikan doesn't eat lunch with him that day._ )

* * *

A series of knocks ring out on her door, prompting Mikan to stand up and answer it.

She's not sure whether it's surprise or dread that fills her when she sees that it's Fuyuhiko. He avoids Mikan's eyes, his arms folded behind his back.

"My bandages aren't bleeding or untying," Mikan states stiffly. "You don't need to worry."

"This isn't about that," Fuyuhiko says in return. "I wanted to apologize."

"You don't have to."

"I do!" Fuyuhiko declares quickly, before lowering his voice. "I... I got mad at you for a stupid reason, and-"

"You don't have to apologize because I'm not mad at you," Mikan elaborates, and Fuyuhiko stares at her in disbelief.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Mikan nods, smiling a bit at Fuyuhiko. "It's fine."

Fuyuhiko returns her smile, before holding his hand out to Mikan. His fingers are curled around a neon green bag of fruit-flavoured gummies.

"I got you some candy too."

"Thanks!" Mikan grins, accidentally pushing the door open wider as she moves to grab the bag.

She ends up dragging Fuyuhiko into her room, laughing a bit as she plops herself down on her bed. Fuyuhiko takes a seat on her desk chair, the bag still in his hand.

"I still have the chocolates," Mikan says with a grin. "It's a good thing I didn't throw them away!"

"I'll take them later," Fuyuhiko states, moving his chair closer to the bed. He's so close that he could touch her if he reached out for it. Mikan stares at him curiously, before nodding in understanding.

Before he can stop himself, he blurts out, "Open your mouth."

"Huh?" Mikan pauses, before hesitantly complying. She watches Fuyuhiko as he decides, fuck it, might as well.

He rips the bag open, pinching a gummy between his fingers and reaching out towards Mikan. Mikan's eyes widen as she realizes what he was doing, before she leans over to accept the treat. Thankfully, she doesn't end up biting his fingers.

There's a smile on her face as Mikan chews on the sweet. Fuyuhiko isn't sure whether he should be grateful that she went along with the stupid idea or whether he should be flustered at what he just did.

"Thank you," Mikan beams at him, before an idea comes to mind. "Okay, it's my turn! Fuyuhiko, close your eyes!"

Fuyuhiko freezes, before slowly shutting his eyes. There's no way it's a kiss, right? I-it just sounded like that, but then again-

Then something smacks into his nose, making him flinch away.

"Ow- what the-!?" His hand flies up to hold his nose, his eyes opening to see Mikan holding her nose too.

"Dammit!" Mikan curses, slamming a fist into her mattress. "I fucked up! I really, really did!"

"What were you even trying to do?!"

"I was _trying_ to be all cool and mysterious and also romantic! I wanted to kiss you before you realized it and-" Mikan's eyes widen with horror, her hands immediately covering her mouth.

"You... you were trying to kiss me?" Fuyuhiko echoes, gaping at Mikan in disbelief.

"I-I'm so sorry!"

"Don't apologize...! If you want to kiss me, just go ahead and do it already!"

Mikan freezes, and Fuyuhiko belatedly realizes that saying that might have been a bad idea.

There's a moment of tense silence where they both wait for the other to make the first move, before Mikan gulps.

"If...if you say so," She tries to smile suavely. It's obvious in the way that her hands tremble when she reaches out for him that she's just as nervous as he is.

Their first kiss isn't the stuff of legends and dreams, but they didn't have to get it right right away.

* * *

"I win," Peko proclaims triumphantly the next morning, a smug smirk on her face when she spots the new couple holding hands.

"Nonsense!" Gundham retorts, seething at the silver-haired girl. "It was due to my intervention that-"

"If I didn't tell Fuyuhiko to apologize, they would have spent weeks avoiding each other," Peko declares, cutting Gundham's argument into pieces.

"...touche," Gundham admits.

"Were you assholes seriously betting on us getting together?!" Mikan and Fuyuhiko scream in unison.

"Yes," Peko nods without a hint of shame.

"It was her idea," Gundham says defensively. Fuyuhiko has to stop Mikan from throwing a chair at the swordsman, because even if he deserved it, class was about to start and they didn't have time for chair-throwing.

* * *

"Hey, Mikan," Fuyuhiko pokes her in the side as they watch a cliche splatterfest gore movie together, months later. "What would you do if I got bitten by a zombie?"

Mikan hums as she thinks, before coming up with her answer. "I'd let you bite me."

"Huh. Really?"

"Yeah," Mikan nods, resting her head on Fuyuhiko's shoulder. She doesn't miss how he turns pink at the action. Her lips curl up into a smile at the sight. Really, her boyfriend was way too cute! "I wouldn't mind destroying the world with you."

"Don't tell me that you're planning on ending up like those horrible mafia boss kind of villains."

Mikan giggles at the thought, before letting her laughter morph into something more melodramatic and Gundham-like. "Mwahahahaha! I am the queen of a million families! Thousands have been forced to bend their knees to me, and me alone! Fear me, for I am Tsumiki Mikan, the bloodied rose!" Mikan pauses for maximum dramatic effect, before adding, "And this is my boyfriend slash henchman slash partner slash-'

"What the hell's with all those slashes?" Fuyuhiko raises an eyebrow at the brunette, staring at her weirdly. "Pick a better title."

Mikan taps a finger against Fuyuhiko's thigh, contemplating the notion for a moment.

"Nah, you're doomed to be Mr. Slashy forever," Mikan declares with a bright grin.

"Seriously, just call me your boyfriend and be done with it!"

Mikan's smile grows bright as she presses a kiss to his cheek. He had no idea that Mikan was planning on adding ' _future husband'_ to the list of titles.

She wants to be together, forever.

forever forever for ever forever foreverfor e ver forever for e ve r forever fo re ev er foreverforeverforeverforeverforeverforever

loveyouhelpmemoriesforgotforeverstopnodespair

stayawaygetawayidontwanttosee st op it s top get a wayhelp

(In the classroom of panicking students, Mikan can't help but freeze up at the sight of blond locks and a loosely-tied apron. She wants to tie it properly for him, to laugh and joke about how he-

The memory disappears in an instant, leaving Mikan confused as to why she wanted to approach the irritable-looking blond.)

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know how nurse fuyuhiko went from 'he swears bc he cares' to 'he has a lot of guilt and self-loathing hidden under harsh words and he needs hugs and love'.  
> also, title comes from this sort of review that i found hilarious. i am so glad that i managed to reblog it for safekeeping http://rainbow-unicorn-banzai-party.tumblr.com/post/151608313835/was-the-kuzumiki-fic-even-that-bad-though-i


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